"For Better or For Worse" Our Personal Worse. "Til Death Do You Part."
The definition of "Worse" according to Wikipedia is "Worse (adjective) comparative of bad, ill. of poorer quality or a lower standard; less desirable. (noun) a more serious or unpleasant event or circumstance."
If you knew what the word 'worse' really meant, would you have gotten married? Who really sits down before they get married and have a conversation about what would be the 'worse' in our marriage? In our 20 years of marriage counseling and the hundreds of sessions we've conducted, we've never heard of anyone having that type of conversation, not even us. Maybe couples need to have that kind of conversation before they get married.
Here is our marital 'worse' that occurred over the past 22 years of marriage. My pornography addiction-Worse. Sonya's controlling demeanor-Worse. My going to the club or bar.-Worse. Sonya having six miscarriages-Worse. Sonya sister's death-Worse. My father's death-Worse. Home foreclosure-Worse. Living in a hotel for 5 months-Worse. Cars repossessed-Worse. Loss of employment-Worse. Fights that were destructive-Worse. My 21 day hospitalization due to lung infection-Worse.
Now, here we are August 2018 and we are facing -'worse' yet again. Sonya's mother was diagnosed with M.S. 11 years ago, she has been stricken to a wheel chair for the past 4 years. Sonya's father was mom's care provider ever since, but last year Sonya's father got into a car accident and since then his mental & physical health have declined.
No longer is he able to care for the woman he has been married to for 54 years-Worse. The responsibility of us now taking care of two elderly parents in their condition-Worse.
Husbands, what is your worse? What did you do? Some men stay in the marriage and find other poor coping mechanisms. Some men deal with the worse and have resentment and some men just don't do anything and leave it all on their wives. Where are the men who stay in the marriage when the worse hits? Where is the man who will make sure that his wife doesn't need or want for anything when the worse hits?
A wife wants a man to handle the worse, to stand in the gap, to put his finger in the hole when the boat is getting full of water, to fly the plane when the pilot drops dead, to be Mr. Incredible and stand in front of his family to prevent the arch enemy from killing them. A husband who can do all that, has a strong relationship with God, because that is where he gets his strength from so he can handle the worse.